In the previous Q &A articles, we’ve been exploring and highlighting the value of Premarital Counselling/ Coaching or Relationship Therapy. In this month’s article we’ll be addressing the question of timing i.e when is the ideal or perfect time to seek Relationship Coaching or to acquire the services of a Relationship Coach? This has been a common question that I get most of the time not specifically from my clients, but mostly from random conversations around love and relationships. There are 3 basic phases or timing frames:
The Pre- Engagement Phase
The Engagement Phase and
The Post Engagement Phase.
In this article, we’ll unpack what the Pre- Engagement Phase is and its attendant benefits
What is “The Pre- Engagement” Phase?
In a recent talk on a PODCAST, Christian Rookie a few days ago, the host asked me, Mr Prince when is the right time to embark on finding a Relationship Therapist or Relationship Coach? I mean when is it ideal to consult a Relationship Coach? My answer is as has always been all time: The perfect time is what I call The Pre- Engagement Phase.
Simply put: The Pre- Engagement Phase is a phase where you are actively and intentionally single, not engaged or testing the waters. This includes experimentation or trying to heal from the previous failed relationship. By single I am referring to a phase where you’re not having an active relationship or partner but being actively and intentionally single (mentally and otherwise) and not being available to consider or pursue any advances or opportunities until you deem it the right thing to do and the right time to do it i.e date. By this I mean actively preparing yourself to now actively date, know what you want, what’s acceptable and unacceptable in your ideal relationship. Identify your ideal partner as well as check if your ideals of a perfect partner are realistic and practical, while you’re still alone. I’ve discovered through my engagements that a whole lot of adults do not know precisely what they want, as a result, in most cases they sell themselves short or settle for whatever is available whenever it is available
What are the components of the Pre- Engagement Phase?
Look at it from a perspective of vacationing to a distant, unknown country. What do we do when we’re taking a vacation/ trip to a new country or a country we haven’t been to before? Here’s what I’ve seen people do before jetting off for a vacation:
- They spent time, planning and preparing themselves with the sole objective of enjoying themselves and making it comfortable and memorable
- Yes, we prepare well in advance for a vacation/ trip of a few days/ weeks.
- We set aside a budge for it, even if it means compromising on some of the usual pleasantries, like going out for a movie or eating out as frequently as we usually do
- We research to acquaint ourselves with the Weather patterns in the country we’re travelling to so that we pack costumes, clothing that’s conducive for the type of weather we’ll be living in for that brief duration.
- We also pack up our preferred delicacies and snacks in case the country we’re visiting doesn’t have such in their country. We pack the type of food items essential to us once we’re there.
- We don’t wait to get there and start preparing but we get there prepared, before we leave home or our country
- We check how much it’s going to cost us so that we can factor that into the overall logistics of the trip
The above is not an exhaustive list but it’s a fair comprehensive picture of what we normally or habitually do to plan a vacation of a few days or weeks. This indicates that we can plan, we can prepare. It boggles the mind as to why we often go into new relationships unprepared, and unplanned.
Join us in our December article as we explore the Advantages of the Pre- Engagement phase
Are you aspiring to have a solid, stable relationship? Then prepare yourself to be prepared for it. Get yourself a Relationship Coach right away.
Determine to WALK INTO LOVE OR BE USHERED INTO LOVE instead of FALLING IN LOVE the next time you do this LOVE THING